Tired of Parenting

I get tired of parenting. 

Worn out and down; fed up with; exhausted by; burned out. Like, I want to quit some moments, hours, and days. You know, throw my hands in the air and have an "Eat, Pray, Love" exit. Lots of reasons as to why--as I'm sure you can imagine--leading to overwhelm, possible shame, questioning of my abilities, physically checking out, and emotional disconnection toward my kids. 

I'm writing this blog post now from this space, leading me to wonder what's at the core of my tiredness. 

It dawned on me -- I'm tired of parenting because I'm tired of reparenting myself. Essentially, reparenting is the practice of addressing and nurturing your own unmet needs from childhood.

So, I'm not just raising my kids, but healing the child within me. 

Parental pressure, the strive to  sort of balance my identity, work, family and personal growth...the acute fires we're putting out, considerations of long-term consequences, teaching and instilling in little souls...noticing and addressing the self-discrepancies in your parenting expectations...the things you thought you'd never say and do yet find yourself doing them. The general bigness of responsibility we have both to them and to ourselves... All while dealing with my inner child’s unfulfilled needs. 

No wonder I want out at times.

Surely I'm not alone in the three-way battle between reparenting my inner self, being present with my kids, and being burned out. A constant negotiation between past and present. 

I'm not sure if the burnout will ever cease to exist, but what I can share is what gives me the biggest reprieve, keeping me from packing my bags is remembering: I don't have to reparent, I get to. 

I could refute my weaknesses, remain ignorant of my blindspots, turn down opportunities to do differently, not desire to break the cycles, or ceaselessly justify. It's certainly the easier way. 

But in my heart of hearts, I don't want to do that. 

It's not the point, nor my purpose. 

What I'm after, then, is healing me so I may parent them. That's a choice, not a have-to. A voluntary process that I must consciously make literally every day. 

The rallying comes not from hope that the tiring cycle will end and my reparenting finished. Instead, it emerges from my worn-out soul remembering what a gift it is to have the chance to live a higher version of myself and to pay that forward.  A life with more meaning, perhaps more joy, and love. 

Growing yourself means they'll be better equipped to grow themselves.

As David Bly puts it, “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be."

Reparenting yourself isn't just about you—it's a fundamental part of evolving as a parent. Embrace that you get to and you don't have to. 

Showing up for yourself is showing up for your kids. And when the tiredness comes, remember not giving up on them is reinforcing you're not giving up on you.